Trying for a boy!!

Well, as long as the CBEFM was telling me I was "high" my mood followed. I kept an open mind, telling myself that although I haven't O'd since I don't know when, that this cycle was my cycle. I would be O'ing soon, etc. Day after day of the utter disappointment of seeing the "high" reading soon started to happen, but I would quickly shift my mind into positive thinking - "it's better than a low reading," or "my body is just working up to O," or even "maybe I am O'ing today and the monitor just didn't catch the peak."

Well, what do I tell myself after today when the monitor went back down to low, after taking me on a 2 week journey on high? Complete, utter disappointment is what I felt this morning. I don't even know how to describe it. I have been tracking my cycles now for 5 months, and I have not detected one O - not through OPKs, temps, or CBEFM! Only one conclusion can be drawn-

I. Just. Am. Not. O'ing.

I could deal with the frustration of not getting pg if I even had a fighting chance. But I don't. Obviously.

One of the posts from BZ got me thinking about my thyroid. Have I called the dr yet? Nope. I think about it after 5:00pm, when they are closed. I keep going back and forth in my mind - should I call my OB or my family dr to demand that they retest my thyroid? I have a feeling that if my family dr finds it is out of range, then I would probably be referred to my OB anyway for the infertility. I have kind of been avoiding calling the OB until AF starts, because I felt like every day I was calling the office for something - I don't want to bug them too much! I have also considered waiting until the HSG, and then asking for them to do the blood sample, as well. But then if it does come back bad and that is my problem, the HSG is a waste of time. UGH! Why can't this be easy? I just don't know what to do!

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