CBEFM...
Gave me another high reading. That is 7 days so far this cycle. Well, at least it beat last cycle. I guess. I don't really know what to think anymore. I keep looking at my graph last cycle and see those high temps at the end... I stopped temping at one point, because I had the spotting and assumed AF was arriving since I never have spotting. Now I wonder if maybe that was O spotting? If there is even such a thing. I keep beating myself up over that...
I was reading some blogs today on the HSG, and I am scared out of my mind. I keep wavering... maybe we should just stop with the two beautiful girls we have now. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking that maybe we aren't supposed to have another. But if that is true, why do I want it so badly? I have pretty much decided that I will do fertility drugs, such as Metformin or Clomid, but I won't do anything more invasive than that, such as IVF. If this was my first - definitely. But my third? I don't think we need to go that far, although I will be devastated.
I have been having ALL the signs of O'ing except that stupid positive OPK!! I have EWCM, what I think are O pains, etc. I just don't know what to think about that anymore. I am just going to wait it out and see what my temps show me. I have been getting very steady temps, so they should be a good indicator. Last cycle my temping went haywire, and I am still not sure why!! Some nights I had sporadic sleep because of the girls, but other nights were perfectly normal. Hm.
I really hope that AF comes earlier rather than later. I am working myself up over this HSG so much that I really just want it to be over. I went through natural childbirth... could it be worse than that?? Childbirth is such a different kind of pain, though - it is SO worth it, and that makes it more tolerable. This is worth it, too, but there is no immediate gratification (or even the guarantee of gratification). Hopefully, nothing is wrong.
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