Trying for a boy!!

Over the weekend, I had a reaction to my birth control. Crazy, huh? Who would think that I could have a reaction to that? Maybe it was just my body knowing that I didn't want to be on it! LOL

Anyhow, I only took 2 pills and then my dr told me to stop taking it and just take the Benadryl until my symptoms cleared up, and then to contact her today. I talked to the nurse, and she said that the dr decided to not prescribe me a different pill and for me to just hang out this cycle. They couldn't get me in for the HSG on Friday because the X-ray department was all booked. Sooo.. I am waiting another month (or however long my cycle is) and then calling them after AF starts to try to book another HSG.

I really, really hope that this is my lucky month and I don't have to worry about it!

My temp was higher than normal today. I don't know if it could still be because I am still showing symptoms of the allergic reaction. It was 97.70 today, and it is never that high. I am interested to see what my next couple of days of temps is like!

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Well, we are moving forward (or backward, depending on how you look at it). I am on birth control - started it yesterday, when my period actually did start on it's own. I called the dr, and they have an HSG scheduled for next week. Woo hoo.... not. I am pretty nervous about it.

If you don't know what it is, they dilate your cervix and inject dye into your tubes to see if there is any blockage. I've heard both - it is painful, and it is not. I hope that I am in the "not" category!!

I am taking the birth control for 3 months to see if it will regulate my cycles. I am still taking Fertility Blend, but I might stop it. I took them both yesterday and both today, but my right foot looks like it has hives on it. Kinda weird, but I am wondering if it might be a reaction of sorts to taking all of that?? I might stop the Fertility Blend until it goes away, and then try taking it again and see if it does it again.

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Well, I picked up my birth control pills this past Friday. I haven't started them yet. I had thought about starting them today, as the pack talks about a Sunday start, but I forgot. *sigh* This is why birth control never worked for us before - I always forget to take them. I guess I need to set my phone as an alarm or something. I am only half-heartedly agreeing to take them, anyway. I really want to have another baby now, although days like today really make me think twice about it. Aurianna was such a pain in the neck, and I don't know how I would deal with her and a baby! LOL I think maybe it is better that we wait a while, but it is so hard to do!

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Well, it is time for us to make a decision. I have been thinking lately that maybe we need to hold off on having a baby. We have so much going on right now - I am hoping to get a promotion within the next year, Kaitlyn is starting Preschool in the fall, Jeremy just started school, and we both need to lose weight. I was overweight for both pregnancies, and I really want to experience one without the extra baggage! :)

I have been thinking that maybe my messed up cycles are just a sign that we should wait a year to have another baby. By that time, Aurianna will be entering Preschool, and hopefully I will have my promotion and Jeremy will be back at his job at Duferco. I also want to lose a LOT of weight (around 100 lbs) and that will give me the time to do so. My grandmother had indicated she thought my messed up cycles were due to my weight, but I have always been irregular, even when I was at a normal weight. Something else is just not right with my body, but I am sure that being overweight is magnifying the problems.

Sooo... decision time. I really, really want to get pg now (and I was kinda hoping that I am already pg... LOL) but it might make more sense to wait. I think that even if we decide that, I am going to continue tracking my cycles with temping (I am kind of addicted to that) and maybe even supplementing with the OPKs. I won't use the CBEFM because it is expensive to use those test sticks all the time, although it is quite tempting.

FF gave me crosshairs for CD23, but I am not seeing it. I do not believe that I have O'd this cycle because of my temps. The most recent temps that I have are the same as the beginning of the cycle, and they should be higher if I O'd. I am going to wait until CD43 and then ask the dr to give me something to start my next AF. If we decide to wait, though, I am going to make an appt to go in and get birth control.

AAAHHHHH - why does this have to be so hard??

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Well, I think that we are at a crossroads here. We need to decide what to do. I apparently didn't O this cycle (again), and I need to see the dr. I was thinking long and hard about this yesterday, and I came to a decision that I do not know if I am completely settled on or if Jeremy accepts. We'll have to see how it goes.

I think what I would like to do is wait about a year to continue to TTC. I have so much weight to lose, and that might help with my cycles. Also, Aurianna would be entering Preschool, and I would hope that she would be easier to deal with by then. Also, I should be promoted and Jeremy might be back at Duferco if the economy picks up. We would be in a much better situation.

That decision is so hard to make! The logical one is the one that I just said, but my heart is telling me that I want another baby now. The only major problem I see with waiting is that Aurianna and the baby will be about 4 years apart, and I really would like them to be much closer. I usually make decisions with my heart, not based on logic. :)

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Today I got a high reading on my CBEFM!! Woo hoo! I was SO excited to see that, and I was a little puzzled as to how I received it when I still don't have a second line. But I read the book and it all makes sense to me now! I hope that second line starts to appear, or maybe I won't O. I am really not sure since I have never used the CBEFM before, but I would think that is how it would work. We'll see!!

I told Jeremy today that we could "dance for a purpose now" and he had no clue what I was trying to say. LOL I had to just come out and explain it, and then I explained how the monitor works, etc. I did warn him that it says that I might get a high reading for more than 5 days this first cycle before I get the peak reading. That would kinda suck, but at least I am warned!

I also realized that I need to order the Fertility Blend pills that I have been taking. I think I only have a couple of days left!! I don't want to run out. If I am indeed O'ing so soon, after my last couple of LONG cycles I think that those might have something to do with it! If so, I don't want to risk getting off of them!

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I do not think I am even close to O'ing yet. *sigh* That really, really sucks. I got another low reading on CBEFM today (CD17) and not even a faint line again. It doesn't even look like it is progressing towards anything! I checked CM the last couple days, and dry like the desert! This is so ridiculous.

I have also been so, so tired lately. I went to bed before 10pm last night and got up at 5:45 for work this morning. I feel so tired I could go back to bed for another 8 hours. I did have to get up twice last night for the girls, but I still don't think I should feel this tired. I am concerned about my thyroid again, but last check in March showed that it was okay. That puzzles me... how can a thyroid be okay, then not, then okay again? During my pg with Aurianna it was discovered I had an underactive thyroid and she said my levels were so off it looked as though it had been that way for a while. I was medicated, all the way until this past December. My reg dr took me off the meds and said my levels were fine. Coincidentally, the cycle that she did that was my 90+ day cycle. My OBGYN thought it was odd and tested me in March, but she said everything came back fine. Hmm... could it be off again? That would certainly explain my cycles and being tired.

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