Trying for a boy!!

My dr is very proactive. I feel very sorry for those women I see on the message boards whose dr is just rude or not at all involved. My dr wants to get things done! Of course, my mind has been completely GONE lately, and I totally forgot to print out my charts from Fertility Friend! Once I realized that, I figured it wouldn't matter too much because most dr's (from what I have heard) don't even ask for them. Of course, my dr asked for them as soon as she walked in the room. I was SO embarrassed. I told her that I knew what I was doing, though, and could assure her there was no thermal rise, and all the OPKs and CBEFM readings confirmed no O. She seemed okay by that, although she really wanted to see the charts.

Friday morning, 10am, I go in for my HSG. I am scared to death, as most people have told me that it is a very unpleasant experience. My dr said that the worst part is the dye, and we simply won't know how it feels to me until it happens - I could be fine, or have horrible cramping. At least she was honest. The other good thing is that we will know on Friday what the next POA will be.

Plan A: Tubes are blocked. That would be the end of the line, done, finished. She said at that point she would refer me to an infertility dr and we would explore whether it was worth unblocking or just do the IVF. We will not be doing either one. We have two children, and I am not going to go as far as to have surgery, IVF, etc.

Plan B: Hopefully this is it!!! One or both tubes are good. She already gave me the prescription for Provera so that I can start taking that right away to start a new cycle, and she also gave me a prescription for Clomid, 50 mg. She explained how we would start at 50 mg and increase by 50 mg a cycle until I O, and then maintain that for 6 cycles. If I haven't gotten a BFP by then, then she will refer me to an infertility specialist.

I am SO nervous for Friday. I can't believe everything is coming down to this HSG. If both tubes are blocked, that will be akin to her saying "You are not having another child ever again." I have been making so many mistakes at work because my mind is preoccupied with all these thoughts. I have had people comment to me that it shouldn't be that big of a deal to me because I already have two children. Why should it bother me any less if I couldn't have another child just because I already have two? Of course I am totally thankful for my two dd's, and I love them dearly, but that won't make it any better.

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