Trying for a boy!!

I am amazed at how similar this cycle is turning out to be as my last one. My temps have gotten a little crazy, probably due to the fact that I no longer sleep with a fan and I have been sick on and off. But both cycles I had a jump in temp on CD8, the day after my last dose of Clomid. Kinda weird. I also had a backache on the same day. I was really hoping that I would O earlier, but from the research I gathered I probably will O around the same day. Despite the fact that the CBEFM asked me to start POAS a day later this cycle, I still got a high on CD10, the same as last cycle.

I have been throwing around the idea of holding off on TTC if I do not get pg this cycle. I am still losing weight (or trying to, at least) and I think that I would feel better if I took 2 months or so off and just focused on that. The problem is that I really wanted Aurianna and our newest addition to be less than 3 years apart. That means that I have to get pg by December. I don't know - I am just torn about what to do.

My dh and I have been having problems recently, although I am hoping that they were put to bed. I tend to take too much on my shoulders, and he tends to not take enough on his. That is a bad combination! I am an overachiever by nature, and I feel as though I should be making more money, getting a higher degree, etc. I need to realize sometimes that I can't do it all, but asking for help seems like a failure to me. So although I have two Master's Degrees, I decided to return to school (online) to get my Doctorate. We are hurting for money, so in addition to my full-time job I decided to get a part-time job. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal because it is at a daycare and I can take the girls, but it has proven to be very difficult to do everything. My dh and I have very different views on the household chores - I am very particular and like to have everything clean, and he is totally the opposite. I know this is because of his childhood, but it still frustrates me.

Here is a little snippit of his childhood: His dad died when he was 3, his mom was laid off from her job when he was 5, and I would love to say that his mom did whatever she could for them, but that would be a lie. She has never held another job, and there were many, many times that she had a place to stay and he did not when he was a child. He was homeless, stayed with friends, etc. She was horribly mean, and now she he is 33 she expects him to pay for a lot of her stuff. She lives in this wretched little trailer, still does not work, and does not take care of herself or her living space. He talks about some of the places he stayed - cockroaches, no heat, dirty - things that nightmares are made of.

So... I am competing against a childhood with no male role model, no model of how a good family should be, and no idea what is a nice, clean house. In general, he is pretty good about things. Lately I was getting stressed, but he is doing more and it is much better than what it was. I can live with it now. :)

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