Another Attempt
I had a nice, long blog typed yesterday, and what happened? The blog monster ate it. I don't know if other blogs have a monster, but mine sure does! It likes to eat the nice, long blogs and leave the short blogs. I hit post, and up comes an error that should say, "I know you poured your heart and soul into this blog and it took a long time for you to write, but it is gone now. Start over. Good-bye." I just gave up.
Anyhow, today I have another topic. I don't even remember what yesterday's was. I am SO TIRED of people acting like I am not a good mother just because I chose to work instead of being a SAHM. I get it from strangers, friends, acquaintances, and family members. Of course, there are others who are proud of the fact that I have earned two Master's Degrees and that I have put them to good use. I make good money, I like my career and where I work. I am satisfied with everything. So why can't everyone else be?
I was a SAHM from August 2006 until November 2007. I loved it and disliked it at the same time. I loved spending the time with Kaitlyn, and I also enjoyed being able to be pregnant and not work. I enjoyed doing the activities with Kaitlyn and knowing that I would be there for her when she woke up for the day and the one to put her to bed. I just went crazy, though! I went shopping like it was my career, because I was always looking for something to do. I am not the type of person who likes to be at home all day. I know that being a SAHM does not mean that I have to stay cooped up at home, but I also felt like... I don't know, it is hard to explain. I don't want to say "wasting my life away" because I loved being with my children and it wasn't that. I just felt like I was utilizing all of my degrees, wanted some adult conversations and some other obligations, and just in general I missed that. My husband's job really wasn't stable, either. We survived okay, but there were periods that he was laid off and I am sorry, but unemployment benefits STINK.
So I returned to work. I work 35-40 hrs/week at my current job and I like it. I make more $$ than my husband did, and he has been staying at home with them for over a year now. He is looking to return to work because we have more financial obligations than we used to and are struggling a bit. The older the girls get, the more expensive - preschool, dance classes, etc. My previous job, the job that I returned to the workforce with, worked me to death and I do regret the amount of time I was away from my family. That would be why I found a better alternative.
Am I a bad mom for wanting to work? I don't think so. I know all the arguments - I will never get that time back, moms raise them the best, etc. I think that the couple of times I have had a babysitter, I am happy with - I found someone to come to our house that we were all comfortable with. They were able to form positive bonds with their caregivers and enjoyed having them around. Heck, they probably enjoyed the change of scenery other than just seeing Mommy and Daddy all day!
In hindsight, my decision to return to work was a blessing for us. The economy here around good ole Youngstown, OH absolutely is the pits, and the company that Jeremy was working for when I was a SAHM laid everyone off for over a year. They are just now returning to work. We would not have been able to survive on unemployment benefits, and Jeremy is having difficulty finding work. We would have been screwed. Of course, we didn't know that at the time and so it was not a deciding factor for us, but at least I can justify the decision somewhat, if I even need to justify it.
I do not have any issues with women who are SAHM. If that is what they want to do, then I think it is great that they can do that! There are a lot of positives to it, that is for sure. I just wish that they wouldn't judge those of us who work. My children are very happy, well-adjusted children.
The whole conversation came up because I was just having a conversation with one of my employees at work, and we were talking about that. She basically told me that I am losing so much time with my girls, that I will never get that back, how difficult it will be when #3 comes along, etc. Very judgmental. She said she was a SAHM and that they just sacrificed cable, etc. for her to be able to do that. Great, I am happy for her - we don't have cable or anything either. That is the sacrifice we are making because my husband is at home right now. He does not have a degree or any advanced skills for him to be able to make as much money as I am. She said, "Well, I guess at least you know they are with your spouse." That seems to me as though I am supposed to be the primary caretaker that he is the babysitter. That I am leaving them with him as I would a babysitter. We are both their caretakers. End of story.
Okay, rant over.
0 comments:
Post a Comment