Trying for a boy!!

I absolutely, 100% cannot believe it is a boy! I cannot wait until my next ultrasound on Monday because I am definitely going to ask the tech to doublecheck. LOL I mean, come on - my family does not have boys! I have 3 sisters, 2 daughters, and a niece - no boys anywhere in the family. My dad tried FOUR times for a boy, and for all 3 grandchildren I know he was hoping and praying. You should have heard how excited he was when I called him after the ultrasound. He works with my husband (he is a couple rungs up the ladder, though) and I knew that Jeremy would already know when he got home from work. He did - my dad hunted him down at work and told him the news. My dad also said he wants to be the first to buy him a football. LOL

What on earth am I going to do with a boy?!?! It all seems so foreign to me, although I am sure that once he arrives it will not be that much different than the girls. I already have bought quite a few outfits, and every time I go out somewhere I pick something up. I just can't help it! :) I also started going through all the girls' old clothes to sell. I have tubs and tubs of them so it is going to take me quite a while! I have about 4 tubs sorted out, and that is only newborn through 9 months!

My older daughter, Kaitlyn, really is not happy at this point. She does not want it to be a boy - she said she really wanted another baby sister. She asked if we can go to a hospital that only gives girls - LOL. When my sister asked her if she would tell her Daddy when he got home, her reply was "No, he can find out when it comes out." Yes, she is that disgruntled right now. She is slowly getting over it, and I know that when he arrives she won't give a hoot whether he is her brother or sister. She is such a great big sister to Aurianna that I cannot imagine it any other way with her brother. Aurianna has no idea what is going on, but I have a feeling this baby may need body armor to protect against her. LOL

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6 DAYS UNTIL MY 3D ULTRASOUND!!! Oh my goodness, I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I have NO idea how anyone waits until birth to find out the gender... LOL I am waaaaaay too impatient for that. :) Sadly, there is supposed to be a snowstorm coming in this weekend, but I don't care if I have to hitch a ride on a snow plow - I am going there! It is a good 2 hr. drive from my house, but totally worth it! I have 2 of my sisters (maybe all 3), my grandmother, and my mom coming to the u/s. It should be fun!!!! I am hoping for blue, but I am thinking it is pink. We'll see!

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I get so frustrated at work, because everyone thinks that they know what is best for me while pg. I don't mind the advice, I really don't. But when people judge... well, that is a different story. One of the older women at work always has to see what I am eating and make a comment. I was eating a fiber bar, and she came in and said, "You know, chocolate isn't good for you, especially while pg." I informed her that I had NEVER heard that before, and that it was a fiber bar anyhow. She still didn't give it up. Another day, I had a small capuccino. I never drink caffeine, but once every couple weeks is not bad. One of the girls saw me drinking it and told me I was not allowed to have it and should throw it away. Another of the employees told her she was wrong, and then they started debating about MY drink. Yesterday I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and the same older woman looked at it and said with disdain, "Oh, you are eating peanut butter and jelly?" This morning was my once-every-couple-of-weeks caffeine, and I actually smuggled it into work! I didn't feel like hearing any comments. I shouldn't have to be embarrassed when I am eating or drinking! Of course, no one bothered to say anything yesterday when I was eating the carrots, or the grapes, or the orange, or the yogurt.

I may end up having to go to an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. This sore throat/ear ache will not let up! I just finished my 2nd round of antibiotics yesterday, and the right side of my throat still hurts, and my ear hurts when I yawn or do something of that sort. I went for my monthly OB check up yesterday, and she said that when pg, your ear drums can swell up and make it seem like you have fluid in there. I was adamant that is NOT what is happening, though - my husband had the same thing, and my girls have been sick, as well. This is just a bug that won't let go! She said that if the 2nd round of antibiotics doesn't work, I will need to go see the ENT since something else is going on. Wonderful. She said to give it a couple more days and then call her to make an appt. I will wait until Thursday. It isn't unbearable right now (it was before!) but if it is hanging around, I guess I do need to go get it checked out. I would hate for something worse to be wrong and it not be detected!

ONE WEEK UNTIL MY 3D ULTRASOUND!!! I am beyond excited. I have to drive to Cleveland (almost a 2 hr drive) so I am hoping that the weather stays agreeable. Here in Ohio, you just never know! Part of the reason I could be sick is that several times recently it has gone from being in the 40s down to the teens in just a day. From sunny one day to blizzard the next. I am picking my sister up from the airport on Saturday, and the reason I scheduled the ultrasound for next week is so that she can go, too. She lives in Wyoming and won't really be able to be a part of anything else, so we would both be very disappointed if it doesn't work out because of weather! Unless it is horrible, though, I will be making the drive!!

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Is having Kaitlyn experience it with me, as well! Every single day she comes up to me and gives my belly a hug and a kiss and says that it is specifically for the baby. If Aurianna is sitting on my lap, she tells her to watch the baby. If I say I am full, she asks me if the baby had enough to eat. It is SO stinking cute! She talks about the baby every day and comments on my growing belly... I am tearing up while I am writing this. Darn pg hormones! LOL It is just so adorable. When I was pg with Aurianna, Kaitlyn was younger than what Aurianna is now, so she just didn't get it at all. Aurianna has no idea what is happening, and I am dreading bringing the baby home to her because I know she is going to be SO jealous! LOL

Kaitlyn asks me all the time if we can go to the hospital and get the baby out now. She also loves looking at the baby development books where it shows what the baby looks like each month in my belly. I never thought she would be so involved in this, as it is such an abstract concept for a little girl who is only 4 years old. I figured she would be excited about it for a couple days and then when it didn't happen right away, she would just forget about it unless we mentioned it. It has been 3 months, and I swear she is bonding with the baby more than any of us!

I felt a kick one day, and she asked me if the baby was "walking around" in my belly. I told her no, it was more like swimming. LOL She got on the floor and made swimming motions and asked if that is what the baby is doing, and I didn't have the heart to tell her no, so I said it is something like that. :) Too cute!

I haven't felt the baby in a couple days, although I guess that is common since I am only 16 weeks as of today. I was feeling him/her with a little more frequency, but the movements are still so faint I suppose I could miss them if I am not paying attention. I cannot wait until they become more pronounced and I can see them! I wonder if Kaitlyn will be able to see the kicks. Jeremy always had a hard time - it seemed like they both would settle down as soon as I told him to watch!

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There is a girl at work (one of my employees) who just found out she is pg and due 9/27/10. Her name is Kristina Marie... MY name is Christina Marie. :) That isn't even the funny part. I was sitting in my office today, and she was in the breakroom with some of the employees. I can hear pretty much everything that goes on in there due to where my office sits (sshhh... don't tell them!) and I could hear her talking about baby names. Yes, you can tell it is her first. LOL Anyhow, she said that her first choice is Aurianna, and her boyfriend said that is what he wants, as well. So they are definitely naming the baby Aurianna if it is a girl. They were discussing middle names and he suggested Marie. So that would be Aurianna Marie. My younger daughter is Aurianna Marie. :) When she walked by my office, I asked her if she knew my younger daughter was named Aurianna, and of course she didn't. I told her she is Aurianna Marie, and that would just be weird for both of us "Christina/Kristina Marie's" to have daughters named Aurianna Marie. LOL She said that would definitely be weird. Great minds think alike, I guess! I really wouldn't care if that is what she decided, because I am not one of those people who think that I have staked claim on a name and no one else I know can use it. LOL I don't understand that line of thinking, although I certainly associate certain names with others and if I don't like a particular person, I am probably not going to use that name for my child. :)

I am already getting tired of people touching my belly. At work, everyone always stares and touches. I popped out very early this time, probably because my body already knows what to do being this is the third go-around. It figured it may as well make room early. LOL There has only been ONE person at work that asked to touch my belly, and all of the rest of my employees will just come up and start rubbing. I cannot stand that! Everyone also asks when I am due, looks at my belly, and raise their eyebrows when I tell them 7/10. I have only gained about 3 lbs (I am 15 wks now) so at least I know it isn't that!

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Wow, it has been so long since I posted on this! I can't even believe it! I was thinking today how quickly time has gone since I got my BFP on Halloween - I can't believe I am almost 15 weeks already! I am getting more and more nervous about having 3 children at home! Kaitlyn, my 4 yr. old, is SOOOOOO good. I seriously could not ask for a better behaved child! I know a lot of parents say that, but she is really good. She listens, is so nice to her sister, and everyone just absolutely adores her. Aurianna, my 2 yr. old, is.... well.... different. LOL She is so funny, and I can already see that she is going to be the class clown like her father was! She always tries to be funny. She definitely has listening problems, though! She has been going through her terrible two's since the moment she came into this world, although they are slowly getting better! She was a very difficult baby, and I seriously cannot imagine dealing with another baby that acts like she did with two at home already. That just freaks me out like you would not believe! I guess that is the chance we take, though!

I wonder every day how this little one will fit into our family - not IF, but HOW. Will this little one be funny like Aurianna, or shy like Kaitlyn? Maybe somewhere in between? Will it have Anna's crazy spirit, the willing-to-do-anything-even-if-it-kills-me spirit that gives me a heart attack about 5 times a day, average? Or will Baby be like Kaitlyn and be cautious and a bit timid? It is so fun thinking about these things!

Kaitlyn is absolutely excited about the baby. She talks about it all the time, sings to my belly, and talks to the baby. It is SO cute to see! I have showed her the u/s pics, and she shows them to the cat. LOL When I had to take her to the hospital on New Years Eve for her double ear infection, she asked me if they could just get the baby out since we were going to the hospital anyhow. She patted my stomach the other day and told me she thinks that the baby is big enough now and can come out. Great - my 4 yr. old is telling me my stomach is too big! She also told my dh the other day that my boobs have gotten "big and heavy." How she would know the heavy part, I am not sure. He said he was laughing so hard he didn't even know what to say. Of course, he appreciates the growth. ;)

My pregnancy has been wonderful. I never thought I would say that. With Kaitlyn, I had m/s in the mornings, and only threw up a handful of times. With Anna, it was all day for weeks, although I didn't throw up that many times - just felt really nauseous. I should have known then what kind of baby she would be. LOL With this one, I have had barely any m/s. I would not even really say I had m/s... I guess just a slight bit of nausea for about 3 weeks, that ended around 6-7 weeks. It was mostly in the mornings when I woke up if I didn't eat something right away. I did get sick right after getting my BFP (laryngitis) and now I am going through the cold from hell - horrible sore throat, stuffy, and ear infection. I had horrible gas pains/constipation for a while that kept me up at night, but I figured out that it was because I had increased my veggies a hundred fold. I took some stool softeners and cut back on the veggies, and I have been okay since!

I started feeling the baby around 11 weeks. I thought that I was feeling the baby every couple of days, just here and there, but I thought maybe it was too early. When I went to the dr at 12 weeks, though, and she found the hb right away, it was in the exact spot that I had been feeling Baby, so I knew then that I was feeling him/her. How exciting! I guess being #3 I know more of what to look for and what it feels like. I feel him/her more now but it is still very light and not too often. Seeing the baby moving around and feeling the kicks are the best part of pg for me!

I am really just trying to appreciate every moment of this pg, as this could be my last. I am loving the thrill of guessing what the baby is (notice how I keep saying "the baby"... I am trying to keep from saying "it"! LOL). I took an intelligender test, and it said boy. I really just took it for fun, but that is what I want so I really hope that it is right!! I scheduled a 3D u/s for 2/9, so we will know in less than a month what the baby is. I am SO excited!!

Okay, well, I think that is enough catching up for right now. This is mostly for my own records, as I am sure that no one has made it all the way to the end. :) I am going to try to post u/s pics, too. I have 4 sets of them, and it is so fun to see the growth!

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I had a nice, long blog typed yesterday, and what happened? The blog monster ate it. I don't know if other blogs have a monster, but mine sure does! It likes to eat the nice, long blogs and leave the short blogs. I hit post, and up comes an error that should say, "I know you poured your heart and soul into this blog and it took a long time for you to write, but it is gone now. Start over. Good-bye." I just gave up.

Anyhow, today I have another topic. I don't even remember what yesterday's was. I am SO TIRED of people acting like I am not a good mother just because I chose to work instead of being a SAHM. I get it from strangers, friends, acquaintances, and family members. Of course, there are others who are proud of the fact that I have earned two Master's Degrees and that I have put them to good use. I make good money, I like my career and where I work. I am satisfied with everything. So why can't everyone else be?

I was a SAHM from August 2006 until November 2007. I loved it and disliked it at the same time. I loved spending the time with Kaitlyn, and I also enjoyed being able to be pregnant and not work. I enjoyed doing the activities with Kaitlyn and knowing that I would be there for her when she woke up for the day and the one to put her to bed. I just went crazy, though! I went shopping like it was my career, because I was always looking for something to do. I am not the type of person who likes to be at home all day. I know that being a SAHM does not mean that I have to stay cooped up at home, but I also felt like... I don't know, it is hard to explain. I don't want to say "wasting my life away" because I loved being with my children and it wasn't that. I just felt like I was utilizing all of my degrees, wanted some adult conversations and some other obligations, and just in general I missed that. My husband's job really wasn't stable, either. We survived okay, but there were periods that he was laid off and I am sorry, but unemployment benefits STINK.

So I returned to work. I work 35-40 hrs/week at my current job and I like it. I make more $$ than my husband did, and he has been staying at home with them for over a year now. He is looking to return to work because we have more financial obligations than we used to and are struggling a bit. The older the girls get, the more expensive - preschool, dance classes, etc. My previous job, the job that I returned to the workforce with, worked me to death and I do regret the amount of time I was away from my family. That would be why I found a better alternative.

Am I a bad mom for wanting to work? I don't think so. I know all the arguments - I will never get that time back, moms raise them the best, etc. I think that the couple of times I have had a babysitter, I am happy with - I found someone to come to our house that we were all comfortable with. They were able to form positive bonds with their caregivers and enjoyed having them around. Heck, they probably enjoyed the change of scenery other than just seeing Mommy and Daddy all day!

In hindsight, my decision to return to work was a blessing for us. The economy here around good ole Youngstown, OH absolutely is the pits, and the company that Jeremy was working for when I was a SAHM laid everyone off for over a year. They are just now returning to work. We would not have been able to survive on unemployment benefits, and Jeremy is having difficulty finding work. We would have been screwed. Of course, we didn't know that at the time and so it was not a deciding factor for us, but at least I can justify the decision somewhat, if I even need to justify it.

I do not have any issues with women who are SAHM. If that is what they want to do, then I think it is great that they can do that! There are a lot of positives to it, that is for sure. I just wish that they wouldn't judge those of us who work. My children are very happy, well-adjusted children.

The whole conversation came up because I was just having a conversation with one of my employees at work, and we were talking about that. She basically told me that I am losing so much time with my girls, that I will never get that back, how difficult it will be when #3 comes along, etc. Very judgmental. She said she was a SAHM and that they just sacrificed cable, etc. for her to be able to do that. Great, I am happy for her - we don't have cable or anything either. That is the sacrifice we are making because my husband is at home right now. He does not have a degree or any advanced skills for him to be able to make as much money as I am. She said, "Well, I guess at least you know they are with your spouse." That seems to me as though I am supposed to be the primary caretaker that he is the babysitter. That I am leaving them with him as I would a babysitter. We are both their caretakers. End of story.

Okay, rant over.

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